Chevy and Cadillac Dealers Announce Ventilator Pre-Orders

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78) 03/30/2020 at 14:03 • Filed to: None

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Paul Edwards, Senior Vice President of Marketing for General Motors, announced Monday morning that the company would begin accepting customer deposits on their new line of ventilators from both Chevrolet and Cadillac.

GM’s new Chevy Ventana will be available within weeks, featuring GM’s MyLink Health Diagnostic touchscreen

In a press conference in Detroit , Mr. Edwards explained: “In light of President Trump’s recent Defense Production Act order for GM to continue doing what we were already doing, which is manufacturing ventilators for the COVID-19 crisis, we’re proud to announce we can begin accepting customer deposits by the end of this week at over 500 participating Chevrolet and Cadillac dealerships in Washington, California, New York, New Jersey, and Florida.”

Paul Edwards. For real, though.

Mr. Edwards noted that the program will be expanded to other markets in the coming months as the demand increases. He specifically noted that GM’s home state of Michigan – facing its own surge of COVID cases — would not be among the first wave of recipients because their state’s lady governor (Whatshername - D) had hurt President Trump’s feelings.

He further explained that orders will be based on a first-come, first-served system and that a 20% (of MSRP) non-refundable deposit will be required to guarantee delivery by late April. Additional dealer fees and markups may be added based on local market demand and are beyond the scope of GM’s official corporate pricing policy.

Pricing is expected to begin at $29,900 for the Chevy Ventana and $43,290 for the Cadillac CVD19 (or $57,300 for the high-performance CVD19-V ) . The latter has generated the most excitement and optimism within the GM ranks, and will include such features as extra chrome trim and 4” casters with low-resistance bearings for an estimated 7. 5% reduction in Code Blue response times.

“This baby is going to scream,” Edwards added.

“Pardon the cliché, but we really believe the CVD19 will be the proverbial ‘Cadillac of Ventilators’,” Edwards continued, “Meaning there will probably be a bunch of German and Japanese versions that are both better and cheaper – but we’re still proud of our work as runner-up.”

Despite no direct presidential order, several other automotive companies have announced plans to follow suit.

Nissan promises to introduce a high-performance version called the Ventil8-R by late summer, just in time for excess capacity to be sold off to medical equipment rental firms. Hyundai has announced its intention to sit on the sidelines for the remainder of 2020, then reverse engineer the Cadillac model for a 20% lower price – potentially under the Genesis sub-brand, which has an older average customer base that Hyundai has labeled “High Risk, High Demand.”

In response to reporters’ question about how the supplies would be rationed to areas of greatest need, Mr. Edwards explained that GM’s stakeholders require a certain return on investment. However, he also reassured the public by emphasizing GM’s extensive dealer network, quipping “If you have COVID, just grab a chair and go wait in line!”

A medical sales rep slaps top of GM prototype ventilator, emphasizing its key features

By early Monday afternoon, Tesla founder and CEO Elon Musk replied via a series of tweets that “Our ventilators will have twice the performance for the price” [compared to the GM models]. “Tesla’s patented Pulmonary Emissions Directional Occlusion system will have everyone agree that I’m the biggest PEDO™ guy in the world,” he continued.

Tesla will begin accepting fully refundable $12 deposits beginning tomorrow.

“Our goal,” tweeted Musk, “is to get as many people signed up as possible so we can flex on GM. Even if you never considered COVID-19 before, these ventilators could very well be in your future.”

Turbineguy: Nom de Zoom > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 14:08

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I’ll be disappointed if there’s not a V-spec model. Because Cadillac.

But chances are it’ll be underpowered, s o...

facw > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 14:12

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Those dealer market price adjustments are going to be killer.

HammerheadFistpunch > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 14:17

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This is bloody fantastic work Ash

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 14:22

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China already has a line of Buick models, but they don’t get many color choices. Just Bat Black and Soup Brown. 

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 14:24

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Be sure to get the Duramax option.

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > facw 03/30/2020 at 14:25

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In an attempt at downsizing dealer ships GM placed the chairs 6 inches apart, so they have to buy one when their name gets called.

fintail > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 14:26

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Can’t wait for the “Real People” ads.  I expect a 20% ADM followed by 25% off MSRP for “employee pricing” 10 weeks later.

LOL at the Genesis bit.

Ash78, voting early and often > fintail 03/30/2020 at 14:28

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What is that, a ventilatah? Looks more like a bohng to me.

Tekamul > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 14:31

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Wait until the market feeds them the bitter pill that most patients still prefer the sound and flexibility of gas power over pure electric.

T hese things will suffer 60% depreciation in the first year!

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 14:32

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I bought a Subaru model and it keeps blowing gaskets and requires a comp lete reb ui ld after every 100,000 breaths.

PartyPooper2012 > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 14:33

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If it doesn’t come with a manual, I don’t want it.

I’ll use an old school bellow.

Grindintosecond > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 14:34

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I want mine with the GPS convenience group. But I wonder how the tow package offering affects  mileage.

MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 14:37

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Not enough hard plastic on that unit to be a Chevy.

Ash78, voting early and often > HammerheadFistpunch 03/30/2020 at 14:37

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Joy through sadness, or as the Germans call it, Schadenfreudvergnugen .

DipodomysDeserti > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 15:26

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Despite my better judgement, I 100% thought this was a real article you posted up until I got the Whatshername- D part. Amazing stuff.

user314 > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 15:34

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“Tesla’s patented Pulmonary Emissions Directional Occlusion system will have everyone agree that I’m the biggest PEDO™ guy in the world,” he continued

KingT- 60% of the time, it works every time > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 16:23

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I tip my hat to you sir

well done!

Azrek > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 17:03

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Need something on the Concept model may not look like the Production model!!

Breanda > HammerheadFistpunch 03/30/2020 at 17:27

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Sadly, I wouldn’t put it past them - esp the big GM /Chevy emblem on the front. It' s only a matter of time.  Looks like it will take them a few months.

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 17:44

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So very good...very good.

I do wonder though whether GM could include the ventilator in their first autonomous vehicle. That way I could have a car that both thinks and breathes for me. If they modify the seats then it could also cope with my shit...

PS9 > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 17:44

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Wait, the ventilators are going to use CUE? Oh, man. I thought they wanted to death toll to go down, not up.

RacinBob > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 18:43

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The 24Lemons just announced an endurance series limited to those with ventilators costing no more than $500. Leading to the question “ since when did a Chevy Ventana come with one of these” ?

Bill > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 19:24

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I’ve been waiting for the Volkswagen Breathe.venty.l8r model. We’ve all been drooling over the renders on all the ventilator blogs for the last six weeks. Everyone loves the daring plague yellow and stem cell white two tone paint job. I’ve read the Breathe.venty.l8r has a 72 KHW battery and gets 350 breaths on a charge, but that’s when rated on the European COVID ward. It is only expected to get 200 breaths per charge on the more demanding FDA COVID test. That is, if the Breathe.venty.l8r ever comes to the US market. The entry level price is expected to be € 60,000, but blog writers say it is totally worth it to get the iconic Teutonic styling.

RacinBob > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 19:51

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A post car of my wittier brother

Also, remember to avoid hanging a bunch of junk from your ventilator’s key ring. There’s a good chance that it will shut down your ventilator, causing loss of power steering. You and your ventilator will be engulfed in an enormous fireball, fed of course by oxygen, when the ventilator swerves off the road, impacting the nearest telephone pole or other obstruction.

Leading next to a swarming pack of ravenous trial lawyers decrying GM’s willful disregard for human life, in negligently designing ventilators it never wanted to design, manufacture or sell.

Cobra012297 > Ash78, voting early and often 03/30/2020 at 20:02

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I’m just waiting for the usual GM electronic issues and for it to suck someone’s lung out.....

SnapUndersteer, Italian Spiderman > Ash78, voting early and often 03/31/2020 at 09:06

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perfect

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Ash78, voting early and often 03/31/2020 at 11:18

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“ Separately, John Hennessey announced availability of Ventilator Savage upgrade package, which he claims has produc ed 955 horsepower on a chassis dyno. Hennessey says the Hennessey Ventilator Savage will be participating in The Texas Mile this year and he expects ‘good things’ from their appearance.”

Pricing is set at $59,995, on top of the list price of the Chevy Ventilator.  See the Hennessey website for more details.